the oscars were last night. nothing special. chris rock was a great choice for host. i didn’t really like how they did some of the presentations; having the inferior awards presented in the audience or doing the nominee “line-up” on stage. just do it the normal way or don’t do it at all. and i’m getting sick of the musical numbers. i don’t remember if they ever did this before, but couldn’t they just do a quick medley of all the songs? seeing beyonce every five minutes was getting really annoying.
the best part was when charlie kaufman got the best original screenplay award for “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.”

we were doing car work yesterday and we noticed a “free daytona 500 t-shirt” sticker on one of the bottles of oil. after reading all the rules, we decided to give it a shot. so i got on stemshul’s computer and ordered up two free t-shirts. they will be our spring/summer work uniforms. we have to buy another case of oil before mr. uglypants can get his uniform.

(this is an interactive blog post. that means you can click on the links to see what i’m talking about.)
in 1987, the fat boys were in a movie… disorderlies. the cover art is amazing.
from the direct-to-video file, we have national lampoon’s blackball, which is not too surprising until we look at the cast. james cromwell? vince vaughn? who the hell is paul kaye? my favorite is the “sticker” on the cover that says: “Amazing Soundtrack Including U2 and Other Great Bands!” you’ve just been blackballed!
it gets better. there is this little gem from steven seagal: into the sun. “Only One Man Can Stop The Yakuza.” because when my city is on fire, i call steven seagal with his leather trenchcoat and frickin’ m16/grenade launcher, baby.
next up: frostbite. “WARNING: SNOWBOARDING HAS NEVER BEEN THIS HOT!” you got your semi-ugly bikini-clad chicks in the foreground and your boardin’ tricksters in the background. what could be better?
george burns riding a motorcycle would be better.
polymorph “Fear can take many forms…but none more deadly than the unknown!” the unknown, in this case, being why these idiots have guns.
this one put a lump in my throat: the same river twice. it was a lump of vomit, but a lump, nonetheless.
from the creative artwork team that brought you the cover art of the “creatures the world forgot” vhs video comes: diamonds of kilimandjaro. breathtaking.
danny aiello is no longer “doing the right thing.” take a look at mail order bride. “Buyer Beware.” it should be called “male order bride.”
and finally (because i’ve grown tired of this, not because there is a lack of material) we have heaven sent. is that really a “boy?”

“What does a scanner see? he asked himself. I mean, really see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does a passive infrared scanner like they used to use or a cube-type holo-scanner like they use these days, the latest thing, see into me—into us—clearly or darkly? I hope it does, he thought, see clearly, because I can’t any longer these days see into myself. I see only murk. Murk outside; murk inside. I hope, for everyone’s sake, the scanners do better. Because, he thought, if the scanner sees only darkly, the way I myself do, then we are cursed, cursed again and like we have been continually, and we’ll wind up dead this way, knowing very little and getting that little fragment wrong too.”

this house has the strangest wiring. whenever a device such as a tv, xbox, washer, or light is turned on, the lights flicker. just a moment ago, the lights were doing this pulsing change of intensity. it was subtle, but it gave me a sense of what it would be like to live in a prison. i think it would be painful to know someone was being scrambled whenever the lights dimmed.
i don’t agree with the death penalty. if we claim to be a civilized society (jury is still out), then how can we lawfully murder people? it’s like we are saying, not only do you no longer have the right to freedom, but you also no longer have the right to breathe. the grey area is that not everyone executed is truly guilty.