do you want to be taken seriously? do you? here’s how you can be taken seriously. seriously. when making a list of your favorite books, don’t ever put dan brown on that list. just don’t do it. you can read his hack novels. you can love his hack novels. you can even bear his hack children, if you want. but don’t ever put any of his gay ass books on a top 10 list. at least, not if you want to be taken seriously.
80′s-ology: the study of everything 80′s. i’m a student. i’ve been noticing something about 80′s pop music. see, for the longest time, i wondered what made 80′s drums sound so… fantastically 80′s. i always thought it was the production. or maybe someone thought it would be a great practical joke to stuff tube socks into every drum orifice. today, i think i’ve figured out the truth.
what makes a drum not a drum? a drum machine. synthesized drums. i’m not sure of the exact figure, but, like, 95% of all 80′s music uses fake drums. it’s unreal! every 80′s song i listen to has the exact same drum samples. live drums are almost non-existent, except for the true band bands, which actually have a physical drummer. like that one-armed guy in def leppard.
the secret to 80′s music is making it fake. or just put a tube sock in your snare.
Top 10 Books
1. The Ultimate Hitchhikers Guide
2. The Three Musketeers
Those are the only 2 Ive read all the way through. Pretty soon though Ill be able to add The Chronicles of Narnia!
i can take you seriously now.