someone has to take a stand and put an end to this madness. i may be desperate for something to post about, but i’m not that desperate.

you think i’m going to give all that information away for free? puh-leeze. pay me some dough and i’ll tell you that shit. until then, you get what i give you.

the bum guy was hanging around work again today. something’s fishy with him. he bought cigarettes and alcohol. that’s not fishy. but i saw his wallet and it was fishy. big ol’ thick ass wallet. maybe he just tries to act like he’s normal. maybe those were fake credit cards. now i really want to steal his bike. he’s probably got a frickin’ bike alarm that starts beeping at you if you get within three feet of his bike.

“2. Three things that scare you:”

pa-thet-ic. why not “Three things that make you lose control of your bladder and piss blood:”? that doesn’t work, because people’s imaginations are so fucking stagnant, they would just laugh and move on. or vomit and move on. or vomit, then laugh at the vomit, and then move on. moving right along.

you want to know what scares me? i want to feel significant, but i’m an insignificant little speck of dirt in a universe filled with specks of dirt. will money make me significant? no. will finding jesus make me significant? no. if i can make everyone love me, will that make me significant? no. it doesn’t matter what the question is, the answer is still always ‘no’.

9 minutes until the next $1 tournament begins.

this is great. i’m now $18 ahead of my original investment. things are looking up. losses have been minimal for the day.

i think i like cash games better than tournaments. that may change, but it seems like i can do better in cash games if i find the suckers and rob them blind because they are so stupido. amateurs. they give everything away by how they bet.

6 minutes and counting.

one of the tournaments i was in decided to shut itself down. it was paused and then it resumed and then it paused again. then it shut down. at least i got my dollar back. or else i was going to have to yell at someone.

4 minutos.

you feel so happy when you are winning. then you feel like utter shite when you’re losing. but it’s still fun. the process is fun. and when i take someone’s money or chips, i always tell them the truth… “you just got anally raped, pal.” i do this in my mind, so that people don’t get upset with me.

2 mins.

time to begin pre-tournament rituals.

did i mention how much i hate caffeine?

i decided not to drink any caffeinated beverages today and now i’m paying the prices. my frontal lobe is throbbing, my right eye is watering, and i don’t want to do anything except watch jaws in spanish. richard dreyfuss has a much more tolerable voice when he has a spanish accent.

and i’m eating a bag of jelly belly jelly beans. there is a mystery flavor with a question mark on it. i ate it and it tasted like an ice cream sandwich. i’d like to go on their tastethemystery.com and claim my prize for being right.

i can’t do that because they want me to register and give them all my information. i remember when contests used to be fun. when you could lose anonymously without the company trying to suck all your personal information out of you. give me my prize or tell me to try again. this shouldn’t require name, address, and birthdate.

now back to my jaws en español. ¡tiburón!

when i’m at work, i try to look people in the eye. it’s hard. my first instinct is to just look down or away or at anything else.

i’ve been trying to figure out why i have difficulty with this. and i don’t think it’s because i’m socially handicapped.

i think it’s because i like eyes a lot, but most of the eyes i see are completely empty. i don’t want to look into those.

there was this guy today with a little rat terrier under his arm (paris hilton style). i asked him about the dog and he kept looking right at me. usually, when i don’t make eye contact with people, the feeling is mutual. but this guy didn’t take his eyes off me. it made me feel kind of uncomfortable. so i kept looking at the dog or at the cash register, but never at him.

i have no problem making eye contact with dogs. they like it.

we don’t need cds anymore. cd-recordables are still handy, but not the regular ones you buy with music on them.

i was reading an article about cds with digital rights management, which only let you listen to the music through a proprietary media player program when used on computers. why bother with that crap?

if i owned a record label, i’d stop selling cds. i’d sell all music online and figure out a way to put digital kiosks into stores. and if people wanted physical cds, they could pay for the music and burn it onto disc.

oh, and i would sell music as soon as it was finished. done recording? done mastering? put it online. don’t give anyone a chance to pirate it and have it out there before the legitimate product is out. if people want the music bad enough and all they can do is pay for it, maybe they would pay for it.