off to work i went. developing photos and having to do fifty million things all at once. like… passport pictures for a family of four. one mother, one young son, and two infant twins. patience was my friend. and i got to make weird noises to get each of the twins looking at me. like… yeeeeeeeeeeeee hawwwwwwww! the pharmashits were laughing at me. laugh it up, you elitist bastards. you’re staying at #1 on the hate list.
then i told everyone about the shamrock shake. and can you believe that no fricking anyone knew about the lovable minty goodness? blasphemy. sinners. i started to get scared that the shamrock shake wasn’t even available in the southwest. oh, it’s available and i got a co-worker to get me one. and since there is a micky d’s within walking distance from my work, i’ll be getting one almost every day. i’m lovin’ it.
there’s this lady who buys cigarettes all the time. a regular customer. she doesn’t look too old until you see her hands and her hands look like they saw world war 2. she has this organizer thing and she always gets the exact change out of this little clear plastic pocket in the organizer. she’s methodical. anyway, she was smoking a ciggy cig outside subway when i went over there for lunch. i said, “hi” and went inside. she got in line behind me shortly thereafter. i made sure to continue reading my tucson weekly instead of making small talk. i was still full from my shamrock shake, so i just ordered a six inch daily special. the lady looked at my sub and said, “that’s a small meal for such a big guy.” i just smiled and said, “yeah.” should i have told her about the shamrock? should i have told her i’m poor? should i have told her to go away? yes.
it was the end of the night and a co-worker misplaced her car keys. i got to take her home to pick up her spare. on the drive back, she told me some horrific stories about the dangers of highway driving. when all was said and done, she wanted to pay me for my trouble, but i told her to buy me a pop (soda) instead. i told her i don’t help people for monetary gain, but a thirst-quenching beverage would be awesome.
you really should be an actor…your performance last night was oscar worthy.
i was about to send you home early too, but i was just being stubborn and making you stay with us….sorry….but thank you so much for doing all of that.