i don’t know anything about adoption. i don’t know how it works or what is involved. i guess that makes me unable to have an opinion about anything adoption-related. except, when it comes to my blog, i can write whatever i want without question. and you have to believe it.
so i was thinking, if i were a foreign baby, would i want to be whisked away from a terrible orphanage only to be rejected for a second time six months later? no, i think that would be lousy. i think i would probably be scarred and hate the world forever. i might even grab a gun and do some damage. thank god i would be in america where guns are readily available.
now, if i were the adopter and certain predicaments presented themselves, i would work through them. i would treat the child as a member of my family, of whom i could never leave, discard, or abandon. but that’s just me. i would never sign adoption papers without convincing myself that there’s no going back.
if you can’t find it in yourself to love an adopted child as your own, then you have no business adopting kids. get a dog.
i would think if someone were to make the big commitment to adopt they would be sane enough to do their research and include all the pros and cons and not just go off of what they are being told by adoption agencies. i would also hope that psychological tests would be administered to make sure these “parents” are able to handle the tough situation ahead of them.
i would hope that all insane ideas are thrown out the window like having an adopted child will fill that void in your life or that this new person in your life will adore you the day he/she meets you and be thankful that you have saved him/her from the horrible orphanage. these children owe you nothing. these children are not dolls or puppies. these children are human beings that have seen the world differently than we can even imagine. we have no idea what situations they have been in. we have no idea what they have endured. how would you expect a child to act when they have no idea what will be happening tomorrow? a week from now? or even in six months? only time will tell.
if one person in your family is having problems, you are all having problems. what do you do? you do everything in your power to help your family. if it’s getting too hard, you try even harder. you can turn to god just like you did when you decided to start the whole adoption process. you take your family to counseling. you take that particular person having problems to their own therapy sessions. you do your research beforehand and along the way. you don’t say after the fact that this is what is wrong and if you had known maybe things would be different. you don’t just give up b/c what if tomorrow was the breakthrough you were hoping for? then again, that breakthrough may never happen but at least you tried your hardest to give your child the best home environment you know how just like you do with your other children.
now this child has to deal with another move and a new family. do you think the walls will be up with this family? most definitely. this new family will have to work even harder to show this child that he/she is not going anywhere and that he/she is part of their family now. how long will it take before the child feels comfortable? who knows? but hopefully the new family will be intelligent enough to know that it may take a lifetime and be o.k with that at the same time.
what makes me an expert? i’m a human being and that’s enough.
Beautiful.
why are we talking about this?
Oh I missed a few days…my turn.