10 things i hate about you

this seems like a bad idea. i don’t like sharing ten consecutive oddities about myself. but since i can’t sleep and i’m feeling a bit gassy, what the hell?

1. i’ve been “retired” for most of my life. living in a condo association, having part-time or no-time jobs, and then moving to arizona. the longest i’ve stayed at a job was two years. i’m hoping that by the time i’m retirement age, i’ll have found the perfect job and i can just work there until i’m dead.
2. horror movies are my favorite. i’ve seen most of the ones i really needed to see. i like mid-80s and early-90s horror the best. i once went through an italian horror movie marathon. i watched every dario argento, lamberto bava, and lucio fulci movie i could get my hands on. it got to the point where the stories and effects were so bad, i just was listening to the wonderful progressive rock soundtracks by the band called goblin.
3. i take extreme pleasure in finding ways to maximize my consumer experience. just being a general consumer is not good enough for me, and i don’t really have any money to buy a lot of stuff anyway. so what i do is wait for my opportunity to be a bitchy customer. like the time when i got a giant nut in a fruit cup. or the time when a hot pocket had no filling inside. and just recently, i got a rice krispies treat without the treat. a perfectly sealed wrapper with nothing but air inside. i’m still waiting to hear back from kellogg’s on that one.
4. at one point, i owned enough dvds to start a small rental store. in fact, many people came to me for their dvd fix. it was amazing. i found deals online where many of the dvds averaged $5-8 each. i was getting a box in the mail almost every day, sometimes two or three. it’s not something that makes me proud. when i decided to start selling them, i was able to sustain myself without working for several months.
5. you should stop reading right now, because, sometimes, i like to “weed-whack” my nether regions. everyone’s doing it! there’s nothing gay or wrong about it. but i will say this: it takes a strong individual to get anywhere near his/her jiblets with a cutting/razor device.
6. when i was young, i would lie awake at night looking into the darkness of my room. i would try to imagine where i came from before i was born and/or where i will be when i die. all i could see was a blackhole of nothingness, and it took my breath away every time.
7. i hate most food substances with a milky white look or mushy, creamy texture. ranch, mayo, potato salad, cole slaw, any goopy salad, casseroles, and so on. i don’t mind fettuccini alfredo, however.
8. i really prefer not to be noticed, which is funny since i’m always the tallest one wherever i go.
9. i don’t consider myself obsessive compulsive, but i do have ocd tendencies. i think of myself as a perfectionist. at school, when i’m taking a test, i’m usually the last one to finish. wait, maybe i’m just dumb.
10. i wish i could be closer to nature. i like going on hikes, sitting on rocks, and just listening to peace and quiet. no cars or loud machines, just the occasional bird song or wind whisper. i think technology is the enemy. i’m addicted to it and it must be stopped.

thank you, have a pleasant evening.