as far as ideas go, this one is beyond brilliant.

radiohead have decided to sell their next album in an unconventional way: through the web in two versions. there is the $80 super-version, which features two vinyl lps and two cds, plus extra artwork, lyrics and packaging. the other version is a download of just the album for… how ever much money you wish to give them. oh yes, you can be an ass and put 0 pounds and still get the download. or you can be a good fan and put in a reasonable amount.

the best part is that it’s going to be available for download in 10 days. is that enough time for someone to leak the album? probably. but will it happen? it’s less likely. this method puts the control in the hands of the fans. you set the price and you get it in 10 days.

i’m going to buy it for 5 pounds ($10), because i think this album will be worth it, but also, the idea alone is worth $10 to me. this is what i’ve been hoping for and now it is actually happening. i just hope it changes the record industry forever. someday, you might even be able to download the album legitimately for nothing and then pay after you listen. it’s possible. it’s all possible now.

last night, i was awakened to people talking loudly in the parking area of this complex. it just sounded like the typical late-night weekend party people. i used the bathroom and went back to lying awake in bed. all the while, i was thinking about how nice it will be to move away from here and into a place where dumbass people won’t be (at least, not so near as to be able to hear them through a closed window).

after about 10 minutes of staring at the ceiling, i heard some loud popping noises. i don’t know how near they were, but near enough to be fairly sure they weren’t fireworks. a few more and lady friend woke up. i told her it sounded like gunshots. i looked out the window and saw someone running toward the sounds, then stop. then he ran back toward the apartments. something bad seemed to be happening, so i grabbed my phone and dialed 911. i’m holding my phone to my head and nothing is happening. my heart is pounding and i’m running to the windows to see if i can see anything else. then i realize that i never pressed “send.”

within two seconds, i’m connected to emergency dispatch and i tell them what happened, they patch me through to the local police department and it rings and rings and rings. finally, i tell lady friend that they aren’t answering and i hear the dispatcher say, “just hold on, sir. they are experiencing a heavy volume of calls right now.” i’m like, “no, shit.”

after telling the lady the story, i hang up and then what? just go back to sleep? not bloody likely. you try sleeping when your heart is pumping pure adrenalin.

as i’m watching intently out the window, about 10 minutes pass and the loud people resume their chatter somewhere in the parking lot as if nothing happened. wtf? within 5 minutes of the elekant noibles chattering giddily, i hear some random guy bellow, “get out of here!!!” by this point, i really don’t know what the hell is going on or why i’m awake at 3:30 in the morning, unable to get back to sleep.

about 20 minutes later, i see multiple cop cars in the parking lot and the police talking to some people walking to their apartment. they also looked like they were searching the ground with their flashlights. i don’t know if they found anything, i don’t really care. we’re going to be out of this place in a month or less.

lady friend and i decided to watch cars to take our mind off of the craziness. light-hearted pixar movies are a good way to forget about people popping caps in the parking lot.

i really don’t think the noises were fireworks. they sounded too focused. but what do i know? the really strange part was that there was a news article on the local newspaper website this morning about 247 police calls regarding fireworks and gunshot sounds for this year alone. so, basically, it’s just stupid people with guns or fireworks. good.

sometimes i want a gun so that i can protect myself from the dumb asses, but then i think, just let them kill me because i don’t want to have to make the decision to end someone’s life. and i don’t think that more guns is the solution to gun violence. unless, of course, this becomes the new old west. then i will be the first to strap six shooters to my protruding bone hips.

it was surreal with lightning striking in the distance, planes flying overhead and the pumpkins rocking out on stage. their set was shortened due to weather conditions, leaving me with the urge for more. sure, cypress hill was bona fide bad ass, but i’m not into the whole “smoke at 4:20″ thing. we could smell the hella chronic in the air. i told ladyfriend it’s such a sad thing to be a pothead. they always have to have people to smoke with, because they don’t want to be alone. and the truth of the matter is that they probably have separation/abandonment issues where they want the drug to keep them happy and docile while at the same time being surrounded by their community of fellow smokers. if it were legal, many of them would probably realize just how pathetic the whole thing seems.

the pumpkins played a variety of songs from the past and present. i believe the setlist was as follows:

• united states
• bullet with butterfly wings
• that’s the way (my love is)
• hummer
• stand inside your love
• tonight, tonight
• ——rain intermission—— (during this time people were getting upset and throwing things at the stage and the band off to the side, so billy came out in a poncho and yelled at people to stop throwing shit. it was great. aging rock legend lectures infantile concert fans.)
• tarantula (after which, billy asks, “are you fucking happy, now?”)
• glass and the ghost children
• superchrist
• heavy metal machine

i know they didn’t have a lot of time to play, because of the whole festival deal, but it felt really short. still, they played wonderfully well. and the reworking of old classic songs made it a great experience. plus, i loved looking around at the a-holes in the audience who only came to hear “today” or “1979″ and were visibly distraught with long renditions of songs from machina that they probably had never even heard before.

what is it they say? “when it rains, it pours.” well, you could say that.

my lizard died yesterday. after doing everything i could to keep her alive, she just stopped eating and seemed very lethargic. a couple of weeks ago, she wasn’t doing so well, and i found out that young lizards need a lot of calcium and they need the sun to regulate how their body processes calcium and phosphorus from the food they eat. so i bought a better light bulb and some calcium dust to put on her food. she started improving within a couple days, but she was never quite back to the way she was before. i guess young lizards are just too fragile to try to raise in captivity, especially when i know very little about their needs.

we brought her to sabino canyon yesterday evening and buried her near the dam. she’s in a better place now.

in other craptastic news, our a/c stopped producing cold air, so it gets pretty “hot in herre.”

did i mention that i have mounds and mounds of homework? or that my back has decided to sprain itself?

it seems that i have inherited whitey’s bad luck. at least i don’t live in hurricane alley.

planning has begun on a new follicle operation. on the way back from phoenix yesterday, ugly kid and i hatched an idea to shave our hair (head and face) down to stubble, then let it grow without touching it for a year.

after next may (mustache month), we will begin this experiment starting on june 4, 2008 to conclude on june 30, 2009.

we will be taking pictures every month to show the progression of the growth.

anyone who is capable of growing hair on their head or face is welcome to join in and send photos to be posted online.