we had our first good monsoon storm yesterday. they are coming early this year, but we welcome the precipitation and change in temperature.

it started out all dark and then the storm finally hit. within 10 minutes our street looked like a river. after the main rain had passed, the clouds and lightning hung around for a bit.

we were in the house when we heard a big crack like something breaking and falling. we went around looking inside and outside to see what it might have been, when i discovered that the power was out.

outside, i noticed some neighbors talking in the alley and i saw one of the power line poles was slightly on fire. the neighbors informed me that they called the fire department and the power company, and that a lightning bolt hit the pole.

fiancée and i got in the car and went out to eat dinner and do a little shopping. when we returned home, the power was still out but the electric company was on the scene trying to figure out how to get a giant truck down the narrow alley.

we spent the rest of the evening in the backyard by candlelight, watching the “tv show” about two repair men replacing a cross beam.

in my online bio class, i had to evaluate the features of myself and my “life partner” for a glimpse of what our offspring might look like. except that the glimpse is basically just using your imagination to put all the parts together. i wasn’t happy with this since i’m an extremely visual person. so i went to the knocked up babymaker 2.0 for the truth about what the future holds.

the one on the left looks like it has down syndrome. the one on the right looks pretty damn cute, and i certainly hope my child has a mustache when it’s born.

i honestly never thought i would say this, but i’m thinking i might have to give blockbuster online a try. don’t get me wrong, i still hate blockbuster with a passion like no other, but that hate is quickly being surpassed by my hatred for netflix.

i got an e-mail tonight explaining that they are eliminating the profile feature as of september 1, 2008. this means that my poor fiancée will lose her queue, ratings, friends, and recommendations. there is no way to export these features to a different account, and there is no way to merge her queue with mine. their suggestion is to print the queue and manually enter each movie into my own queue, which makes perfect sense since i always have 5 hours of free time every day.

what’s particularly frustrating about this is that they gave no warning, no “hey, we’re thinking about getting rid of this feature, what do you think?” even their reasoning is vague at best. they claim that it will help improve the site for all customers. whoop-di-freakin’-doo! creating the profile feature was an improvement, this is just asinine.

i guess the real question is: what do i do now? i lied before, i’m not considering trying blockbuster. as far as i’m concerned, blockbuster doesn’t even exist. i haven’t set foot in one of their stores for over 2 years and their online rental service was designed by retards. so the only real choice is stick with netflix and take it up the arse or flip them the digital bird and close my account. option #2 is sounding pretty good right now.

we’ve done the unthinkable and secured a place and date for our wedding. on february 7, 2009, we will be commencing festivities. food and drinks with* be available.

if you’d like to be invited, please e-mail me (katohater@gmail.com) with full contact info. chances are, if you’re reading this, i already have your contact info, but don’t let that deter you from begging like a homeless person. this will be a high profile wedding with full security and even a tank. no one’s allowed in unless they are on the guest list. also, we will be purchasing all the cristal in the state of arizona. so, don’t even think about hosting a super bowl party that weekend, diddy.

i’m working on the wedding song list. it’s going to be spectacular. suggestions are also welcome. in fact, i dare you to come up with better songs.

this morning—driving half asleep, like you will find me most weekday mornings around 7:30am—i was listening to sigur rós’ last album takk in anticipation for their new one. if you are unfamiliar, sigur rós is an icelandic band with very unique musical tendencies. they could be classified as orchestral rock, but that really doesn’t do them justice. anyway, one of the best parts is how they use the human voice as an instrument. the singer basically just sings nonsensical words they call “hopelandic” and it is always very raw and emotional. back to this morning, i was listening and thought i heard him say “testicle water,” which made me laugh and then my brain just started coming up with all kinds of weird ideas. i began thinking about how there is probably a market for “testicle water” in the united states, and it will eventually be an energy drink you can buy in a grocery store. however, it will probably not be called “testicle water,” but rather “ball juice” or “huevo splash.” then i started thinking: what is testicle water? is it the sweet, yet salty tasting sweat from the testicles of south american jungle monkeys? (how would one even collect that?) or could it be the extracted scrotal fluid of a rare javan rhino? it really doesn’t matter, because if you put enough high fructose corn syrup in it, everyone will buy it.

on a side note, just for fun i decided to search for “testicle water,” and what i found was very far from fun. there was a page detailing how to do “testicular juicing.” i will spare you the details, and hope that my future money-making product is never produced that way.